10th - 12th July 1998

Friday 10th July
Woke up very stiff and twinging slightly.  Not a very eventful day.  Slept, talked, read, slept, wrote ....apparently we're an hour and a half late.  So we won't be in Toronto until 11pm.
Scott waited for us and picked us up and drove me to the hostel.  It was right opposite hookers corner but it wasn't bad.  It was kind of strange having Claire leave after all this time but I coped.  I showered and read and then fell asleep.

Saturday 11th July
Changed my wake-up call twice and eventually got up at 9:15am.  My plan was to go shopping today and then catch the later train to Niagara but Novella was working so she said it would be better if I go the earlier train.  So then I had forty minutes to get to the station. I checked out and hailed a cab on the street.  I had 10 minutes to catch the train and I made it.
Two hours later I arrived in Niagara Falls.  I called Novella and she wasn't there so I hoped she was on here way to pick me up.  She arrived about 20minutes later and I was so happy to see her.  We went straight home and soon Novella had to go to work. It was a hard life with the tv - Spice Girls on tv all night, and the pool!  We got some videos - I watched "A Life Less Ordinary" and chatted with Novella for a while.

<these are extracts from my diaries written whilst travelling and working in Canada and the US in '97-'98>

6th - 9th July 1998

Monday 6th July
We had cooked breakfasts and spoke to our parents.  Then we went into the city to get ISIC's, train tickets and meet Jamie for lunch.  It was good to see him again.  We hung out at the waterfront centre and then went to find Mountain Equipment Co-op to buy new bags.  We bought the same ones - they were on sale for $20.  We then went home.  We had a really nice meal - roast beef and talked until we went to bed.

Tuesday 7th July
We had plans to go to Queen Elizabeth Park today but both Claire and I had a bad night's sleep and slept in.  We had another cooked breakfast and then showered and packed our stuff.  We followed Audrey's directions to the mall and took a slight detour.  We bought food for our journey - cookies, crackers, pot noodles.  We then went back and watched tv.  Claire finally got hold of Prentice and Toni but unfortunately they're not going to be in on Friday.  So our plans have to change.  Claire called Dave but he is going to be on a field trip.  She also called Scott - whose Mum knew exactly who she was and said she was more than welcome to stay.  I also called Novella who wasn't in but her Mum was lovely, she also offered us somewhere to stay.
Audrey cooked us a carbo loading dinner, spag bol and we left soon after.  We checked in our bags and joined the queue.
We found seats between a huge American tour group and a couple of families with kids!  And so we settled down to our journey.

Wednesday 8th July
Didn't sleep at all well.  Not enough room and too light.  I woke up when they announced some waterfalls - pyramid falls!
Haven't found any telephones as yet.
We saw Mount Robson - the highest point in the Canadian Rockies, and we stopped in Jasper.  Would you believe it the moment we stopped a thunderstorm appeared so we all got wet!
Claire's disappeared up to the observation dome so now it's more comfortable in our proper seats.  I'm afraid to say I slept through most of the amazing scenery in the Rockies - and now we're almost in the Prairies.
I've written to both Liz and Joe.   I'm missing the latter quite a bit - and I really hope he visits.  I just with we had a longer time together.
We stopped also in Edmonton - where Joe lived for a while.  While we were there Claire called Scott.  This time he was in and I think he's going to pick her up and let her stay for a while.

Thursday 9th July
Evil Aaron's birthday!
Slept in quite late.  Today was prairies and lots of them.  We stopped in Winnipeg around lunchtime and basically spent the whole time on the 'phone.
Claire called Scott again although he wasn't in.  I called Novella and Aaron and listened to my messages.  1 from Darren explaining that Rich had just left and he couldn't give me his telekey.  1 from Novella and me on the other one.  I had another one from Novella just before we left giving me the name of somewhere to stay in Toronto.
We explored the Forks market super-quick and would you know it met Chad & Mica!  They were just driving along by the via-rail station.  It's just crazy!
We stopped again at a tiny place called Sioux Lookout - I booked a room for Friday night.
By now we had changed seats to a 4 seater but now we had to share it with Alison, on her way to be a beautician in Toronto.
I couldn't get to sleep very well so I took 5 or so blankets and set up a bed between the seats.

<these are extracts from my diaries written whilst travelling and working in Canada and the US in '97-'98>

3rd - 5th July 1998

Friday 3rd July
Claire got up for 7 to go fishing with J and Chris.  I got up at 11am to meet her at the pod.  We then went and did final business.  Cashed our cheques, bought presents and I finally got to do the Big Tree Trail.  Now I'm at work for my last working shift in Canada.  Kind of sad really!
Work was ok - I think.  I don't really remember now. Kevin said when I'm married and have kids I should come back and visit.  It was quite sad saying goodbye.  We had a couple of options for tonight and we decided on Joe's.  Tara had invited me out for a drink after work - so I went over to drop off my stuff.  Claire was in her pjs and I figured it was kind of rude to appear and then go straight out again. So I stayed and we went to bed.

Saturday 4th July
We slept in late and decided to go out for brunch to the Alleyway.  We met Ian an English guy who we chatted to on Wednesday.  After lunch we went to see if we could get on any whale watches.  On the way, by the co-op carpark there was a whole heap of people.  A juvenile eagle had hit the power lines and fallen on the pavement.  It was obviously stunned and freaked out if anyone got close.  We stood and watched for a while until Wilfred arrived to sort it out.  By this time we were late for most whale-watches, but the whale centre had one at 2pm.  So to kill and hour we went to the coffee pod - and who should be sitting at the computer but Rich!  He'd arrived with his friend Piers from Alaska - leaving Jon homeless and destitute with a criminal record!  He'd been arrested for stealing cheese!  We sat with them for a while and as a result had to run to catch our boat.  The whales put on a good show - lots of tails.
We arrived back at the coffee pod, running to the toilet.  Ilan was there already and we formulated plans for the evening.
We decided to go get out stuff from the B&W and drop it off at Liz's.  Luckily we arrived at Sim City just as Jay did.  He, apparently, didn't realise that Liz was coming back and we were staying.  We decided that we should call her and surprise, surprise she was working!  So she couldn't come to Tofino but she said she'd drive up after work.  We told her that it didn't matter and we'd make other arrangements but she insisted.
So we drank our cider and organised our packs.  Deidre said we could stay there anyway as she wasn't going to be there tonight.  That was a great relief as we didn't really want to spend our last night in Tofino, sleeping on the beach.
Our night out was good.  I chatted to Christy quite a bit.  Claire pulled a German whilst being inebriated by Brendan.  Everyone wanted to go to the beach but there was no way we could get home so we walked back with Stacey - and passed out.

Sunday 5th July
Liz didn't show.  So we had turned down 2 lifts - German guy, and Brendan, and we needed them.  If I was going to get any time with Joe we had to leave early.
After a hilarious display of "balance with a backpack" the taxi driver took us a bit out of town to the Wick.  It was here we stood for 45 minutes with no-one wanting to pick us up.  Then we started praying for Brendan.  He was supposed to be leaving Tofino at 9:30am and it would be perfect for him to get us a list as we wouldn't have to chat.  Our prayers were answered!  We called Liz from the junction and she said she'd meet as at the 7-11.  No show!  We cruised around and found Joe's apartment - no answer.  I called Liz again - this time she arrived.  Claire spent an hour or so with Brendan and Liz took me to Joes.  We banged and banged and finally he was in - bed!  I felt a bit bad as Liz had picked me up and dropped me but I just wanted to spend some time with Joe alone.  I agreed to meet Claire in Tim Horton's at 1:30pm so it was a rushed final visit.
We hung out at Tim Horton's for a while and I came to terms with saying goodbye to Joe.  Then we hitched out.  I really hope he visits me soon.  I have a good feeling about him.
Our first lift was to the outskirts and then we rode to Nanaimo in the back of a pickup.  They took us right to the ferry drop off.
Our backpacks feel kind of comforting but very heavy.  We had to take three buses once on the mainland, getting in everyone's way.  We found Audrey's house quite well, just getting off the bus a bit early.
Audrey cooked us baked banes and we showered and had a great night's sleep.

<these are extracts from my diaries written whilst travelling and working in Canada and the US in '97-'98>

29th June - 2nd July 1998

Monday 29th June
Yesterday I discovered I lost my paycheck so today I had to go to the bank and stop it - it cost me $8.25 - I guess I shouldn't be so careless!  Mum called me at work so that was nice.  We're playing softball tonight and then going to Bella Pacifica.  Claire's supposed to be going to the treehouse tonight with Al, and then tomorrow we have to move out.
I went to softball and they decided to fold one of the teams so there was too many girls - and I had to clean the van so I left.  Liz was late for work as well so I got an extra hour and half.  I went back to the Beer & Wine and cleaned out Calvin and then entertained Liz's sister and her friend.  Once Liz had finished work we went back to her place and then decided to have a girl's night in the van.  So four of us piled in and squeezed on the bed.

Tuesday 30th June
After a fitful night's sleep, we got up, showered at Liz's, stopped at the coffee pod and then went to pick up Claire in Ukee.  We picked her up and made our way back to Sim City to unpack Calvin.  Then we had to go and meet Ilan at the Coffee Pod.  Meanwhile Liz had a phone call - Joe had arrived at the Beer & Wine - he'd hitched to see me/us!  So Liz went and picked him up and I had enough time to say Hi and then I had to leave.  We were going to dinner at the Wick as Ilan gets if for half price.  So Ben, Jana, Claire, me and him went.  The food was amazing and as a result quite cheap!  Blair, Chantal's husband, kept me updated with the football score.  We had to finish eating as we had to meet Danielle at 2:30 to sell Calvin.  We were going along find and then he lost power.  We figured it was just gas.  We were about 100 metres from the insurance shop and Ben, Jana and Ilan went to get some gas from the co-op.  And Calvin started fine.  Claire dropped me off to meet Danielle while she drove the guys back to town.  The insurance place was closed until 3pm so we hung out and showed Danielle the little things in Calvin.  We had to go and get plates off Danielle's car and then take off outs. And then we left Calvin!  It was pretty sad.  Not only are we homeless but also transportless!  We commiserated at the coffee pod and then met up with Liz and Joe.  We went back to her apartment and changed - as we were dressed up to Ilan's dinner.  We then went to the Comedian.  Claire went and sat with Al, Joe and I sat alone.  We had a good chat and then once Liz finished work we went down onto the dock.  Liz wanted to go to a party - it was full of kids and I wasn't really interested.  Jay gave us his key so we walked there and bedded down.

Wednesday 1st July
Liz's sisters didn't get it until 6am and we all stayed in bed until about 1pm.  Then we all got up and showered and picked up Claire from work.  Then I went to work - which was mad!  SO busy but I got $30 tips so that can't be bad.  Joe sat with me for a bit.  The girls are went whalewatching with Scott.  I was supposed to go to the keg party but work was so bad and Claire and Joe didn't really feel like it either so we went back and watched "Wag the Dog".  Liz came in at 3:30 talking very loudly about how she pulled and then Ben and Jana came in, and then Jen and Ashley arrived.

Thursday 2nd July
Claire got up to work at 5:30am and the rest of us rolled out of bed at about midday.  We decided to meet Claire at the coffee pod and have breakfast there.  We then helped Liz pack.  Claire went fishing with J and I said goodbye to Joe.  It was very odd.  I know I've only known him a week but it was very upsetting seeing him leave.  But he did with promises to see me on Sunday.  He even made me give him my sunglasses so I would have to go see him.
Work was boring as I was training so I didn't have to do anything.  Matt heard me tell Tara that he was full of shit - so then he was mad.  I also had a message from Aaron saying he'll be out of town all weekend and won't be able to say goodbye.  This really upset me so I called his machine and said goodbye.  So goodbyes to Joe, Aaron and tension with Matt all in one evening!  We ended up sleeping in Al's van as Joe and Chantal's places both fell through.

<these are extracts from my diaries written whilst travelling and working in Canada and the US in '97-'98>

26th - 28th June 1998

Friday 26th June
Got to sleep at about 7:30am with a man's arms around me!  Woke up around 10 and had to leave because we still had to go horseback riding and I had to work at 5pm.  So we got back to Liz's and she cooked us breakfast.  Then she faffed while we watched the beginning of the England v Columbia match.  Then we went and saddled up.  My horse was Kipper, Al was on flower and Claire on Owen.  We went quite far.  Flower ate the whole way.  Owen was quite feisty but Kip was OK.  Liz and Jen led us the whole way.  When we got back I was quite gutted to find out that England won and with a Beckham goal - but I had a good horseback ride anyway.  We then had to rush showers and McDonalds so we could get to work for 5pm.  We left and encountered Liz's driving - scarily unobservant!  I had to call from the junction to say I was on the way.  I ended up being half and hour later.  So I was working without sleep and not looking very hot.  nut I got $18 in tips and was certainly ready for bed.

Saturday 27th June
Woke up extremely late and lay in.  Then I went to the Coffee Pod and thought about packing my stuff.  When Claire finished work we went down to Remote Passages and booked on a kayak tour.  We decided not to go to the Big Tree Trail and just kayaked around.  Claire and I were in a double and we eventually paddled 10km!  I was glad to because my arms were aching and a normal paddle is only 4km so I didn't feel like a wimp.  Afterwards I really fancied fish and chips, so with Ben and Stacey who we met on the way we went to the Cannery.  Unfortunately it shuts at 7pm.  So we decided to go to the Blue Heron as it was a really nice evening.  Ben and I had fish and chips although the portion was pretty small.  Aaron turned up and had a drink, he was waiting for Jamie.  We stayed there a while and then decided to go and play drinking games - but alas no dice! So we just drank in Calvin.  We lined up for the bar (!) to use the toilet.  Aaron and Jamie were there but they were with lots of women and I didn't feel like talking to them.  Rob from Bella Pacifica came over and said Hello, he spoke some more about Matt. He said that Matt had told him that he dumped Christie for me (!) and then I'm dumped him, but it didn't matter because he was only with me to get to Claire!!! Like that plan would work.  I just felt like throwing up at this point and left soon after.  I mean, I was holding on to the fact that he did at least like me but now it seems it was Claire he liked - just as always happens.

Sunday 28th June
Today was time to pack.  I went to the laundromat and then attempted to get all my stuff iin my backpack.  After a while everyone turned up at the Pod.  Doug, Oleta, Al, Ben, Matt, Brad, Sean, Chantal, Charlie etc.  Claire had also finished work so we hung out there for a while.  Then everyone went off to the beach.  Ben and I hung around town and Pablo asked me to work at 3:30pm so I thought I would.  Work was great - I made $25 tips and most people were really nice.  It was movie night in the bar - Toy Story - and Roxanne brought me in some popcorn.  I went in after work for a pint with Ilan, Stacey and eventually Ben.  I then had to look for a home (Main Street).

<these are extracts from my diaries written whilst travelling and working in Canada and the US in '97-'98>

22nd - 25th June 1998

Monday 22nd June
Claire went to work after only 3 hours sleep.  I slept as the coffee pod for another 5 hours.  At midday the England match was on so I went to the bar and watched that.  We lost 2 - 1 to Romania - but I had the whole range of emotions from pure joy plus goose pimples to a slight bit of anger when Romania scored and some guys cheered.
After Claire finished work she went whale-watching and I went to Aaron's for a shower. He wasn't there but I know I could find him at the laundromat.
I went to work a bit early and changed in the bars washroom.

Tuesday 23rd June
Matt said he can't fork out enough cash for the van so we're not selling it to him.  Danielle is giving us $1900 for Calvin and she seems like she'll look after him.
Went to the bar after work for Chaf and Mica's leaving do.  Dom was all over Claire and Graeme was talking to me again.  The football highlights were on so I watched them and fell asleep.

Wednesday 24th June
I was at the Coffee Pod most of the morning and just as Claire was finished Liz turned up and wandered if anyone fancied a trip to Ukee.  So I went with him - it was quite good fun.
Claire felt really ill so she went to bed after work.  I went to Liz's and showered.  Then Doug and Al showed up to whisk us off to Nanaimo. Of course they'd already been to the Liquor Store.  24 of Corona, 15 of Bud.  We all piled in  - Claire, me, Doug, Al and some other guy and of course Sister.  We even went and picked up Brad.  So we made it Nanaimo - drinking the whole way.  We went to a bar called the Combie - a pretty scary looking place.  We had whiskey with whiskey.  Claire and I had a few beers.  I had to fight off  Doug's advances yet again.  Claire was still feeling ill so we went back to the van.  About an hour or so later Doug arrived and plonked himself between us.  Then Brad contorted himself around the front seats and gear stick.  Then Al arrived and slotted in nicely next to Claire, until he rolled over and then we didn't have much room at all.  I got up and fashioned myself a bed on the floor - using the beer as a pillow.  I eventually got to sleep.

Thursday 25th June
I woke up to Sister sitting on my head and Doug tickling my feet.  He hauled me onto the bed where I thought I could doze a bit more. But we all had to get up because charges started at 8am.  So we made our way to Burger King for breakfast not until Al had had a Corona of course.  He made a fool of himself in BK and I had had enough.  I was looking forward to leaving him in Port.  We picked up Oleta and Talon and made our way back to Port.  We stopped at Englishman River Falls and Butterfly World on the way - which was cool as we hadn't been there yet.  Then Al kept saying he was invited to Liz's and he said he was coming.  I was not at all happy with this.  First of all because I did not want to spend another night with the drunken bum and secondly I didn't want him showing us up in front of Liz's family.
I had Liz's number on me all day until it came time to call her and then of course I lost it.  So we called directory enquiries and called the number that they gave me - there was no one there.  We went to the travel agent and asked about our options to get to Toronto - Plane, Train or Automobile?  We lounged for a bit and called Liz again.  She came and picked us up in a rush as she had to get back to work.  So we went home with her and she immediately went out to work.  Al went with her sister and friend as "licenced driver".  Claire and I watched a lot of tv.  Al and Jenny came back after trashing Liz's car on back roads and getting air! Liz wasn't long at work and she came home with her friend Joe who was very curious about mine and Claire's travels and situation.  We eventually went out to "Buck a Beer" but there was a bug line-up so we went to the Arly instead.  Definitely a small town bar!  We had a good time just chatting especially to Joe.  We left and went to take Joe home.  When we got to his apartment there were some of Liz's friends there so we got out and chatted to them.  I got out in the end and spoke some of my lovely accent to their friends.  Then we went up to Joe's apartment to go to the loo.  I went - then Liz and Joe had put the tv on so we started watching it.  Claire and Al were asleep in the car.  Liz went down to turn the radio and engine off.  Al and Claire looked cosy enough so she left them.  Darryl turned up - but no one knows about him so I had to keep my mouth shut.  Al appeared and we told him where we were and he and Claire were welcome up.  Al left and we didn't see him again.  Joe and I got closed and closer with much encouragement from Liz!  Claire poked her head around the door very upset and angry.  She was freezing cold, tired and ill  Joe was great.  He gave them his bed and calmed them down and they went to sleep.  Liz and Darryl were on the floor and I snuggled up on the couch with Joe.  He may be young but he's very sweet and exactly what I needed, although I'm quite cynical now about compliments as Matt said enough of them and look at how many lies he told!  Joe said he's come and visit Tofino and now he wants to come to England - scary eh!?

<these are extracts from my diaries written whilst travelling and working in Canada and the US in '97-'98>

19th - 21st June 1998

Friday 19th June
I woke up and was really happy to be in the van with Claire and not in a tent with Matt.  I was pretty hungover and we lay in for ages.  I then went with Claire to the Coffee Pod and stayed there for her whole shift.  With a small break to see Liz at the B&W.  I spoke to Ilan about the whole situation and he told me to stay away.  I also saw Aaron - who of course laughed.
Ben invited us to the campsite for beers in the evening so Claire and I went.  We had a really pleasant evening telling jokes and chatting.  Then we had a serious chat to Ben who uncovered yet more lies and deceit and even Matt's desire to pull Claire!  Everyone at the Maquinna knows but they don't vindicate me in it - I'm a victim.  I  think I'm the gossip in town.
$6 Alleyway lunch, $7.25 cider.

Saturday 20th June
Claire and I decided that we don't trust Matt at all.  And we want all the money before we leave or give the keys to Al and Doug  and they let Matt have them once he's paid.  He came in this morning and I told him this he seemed OK with the idea - he said he'd get us the money on Monday!
It's like we're giving our baby over to a potential psychopath!  The only thing I was clinging onto was that he liked me, but I don't even know if that's true anymore.  Talk about building someone's self-esteem and dropping it from a great height.  I feel like I really need a hug from a man who wants me.  Aaron - no and no-one else is here.  I need the lads.
I've had a shitty time at work with some drunks who I didn't server and they got arsey.  So Eric came and sorted it out.  I've got my time off next week so wee can go to Nanaimo and then Port to get the MV Lady Rose to Ucluelet.  Liz also has the day off so we could stay at her house on Thursday night.  After wrok I met Ilan and Ben at the Coffee Pod and we decided to go to Middle Chesterman and have some BBQ Chicken.  We had a really good evening chatting and telling jokes.  We went back to Bella Pacifica and Matt gave me some beer. He's got a girl staying in his tent tonight!
$1 gum

Sunday 21st June
Claire drove us to the Coffee Pod at 8am when she had to go to work.  I got up at 9:30am.  Unfortunately the computer wasn't working properly so I couldn't email anyone.  Aaron turned up from his big night out and and I gave him a lift home.  I sat and read the paper and then came to work.  It's a beautiful sunny day - the first day of Summer.  There should be a big party on the beach tonight - full of hippies no doubt.
The beach was fun.  We went with Ilan and Rob from Bella Pacifica.  There were two fires - a really huge one with bongos and guitars and a smaller one where you could actually talk to people.  I sat with Matt for a bit and we went over to the other fire with him - he gave me some beer.  He was telling blatant lies which just made Claire and I laugh.  I fell asleep on Ilan which was sweet.
$5 coffee and toast

<these are extracts from my diaries written whilst travelling and working in Canada and the US in '97-'98>

16th - 18th June 1998

Tuesday 16th June
Well trying didn't last long.  The alarm went off at 5am but Matt couldn't get up and said to reset it for 7:30am, so I did.  He then got up at 6 and left saying he'll be back soon.
I woke at 10:30am - made a cup of coffee - read some, dozed a bit more, read, dozed ....I said to myself that it he's not here by 12:30 I'm getting up.  He shows up at 12:15!  He spent all morning sorting out his bike, still hadn't called his Mum and now needed a coffee, alone.
I took it calmly and said I had a lot of stuff to do anyway and said I'll see him later.
I went and braved it to the Coffee Pod.  Christie was on the till when I got there but disappeared when it was my turn to be served.  I sat down with my latte and she came and cleared it, she never said Hello, so I did and she was polite!  I stayed for a good hour and a half.  I went on the internet and had emails from Lil Andy and Alex plus the regulars.  I then did my chores and went to Chinook to organise the hot springs, unfortunately they're booked with people from the Coffee Pod!  I know Christie's got the day off tomorrow.  I was going to try at other places but then I thought she'd be there too! So I don't know what we're going to do tomorrow.  It also kind of depends on the weather.  I saw Matt at work and told him but he was in the kitchen alone so he didn't have time to talk.  I wanted to actually do something exciting this afternoon, so I went to Remote Passages and asked about Whale-Watching and Kayaking and Hot Springs.  The WW and K were on but clashed with softball tonight and the hot springs is limited to once only, which I did with Claire.  So I figured I'd go to the beach.  So now I'm on South Chesterman.  Aaron came and kicked sand at me whilst he was on his jog, and I noticed Doug's van at Middle Chesterman but I couldn't be bothered to walk  up there.
I was thinking about it and I don't think I could ever have an affair.  When I'm with someone I have to know that I'm totally with them and they're totally with me.  I hate this not knowing where I stand. I fell for Matt because he said such nice things to me - be he was probably working me!  And he succeeded.  Now he says the words but I'm not sure he means them.
After the beach I headed back into town.  I saw Claire et al at the Coffee Pod so I went and sat down.  We chatted for a while and then had a very awkward moment as I'd blocked in Christie's car so she had to come and speak to me to move it.  If was fine though.
Claire and her posse went to Brad's to shower and I went to the B&W to see if I could see Matt.  He didn't turn up in time so I had to go to Softball.
Christie was at softball and she actually played on our team.  It was strange at first but once I broke the ice it was fine.  After softball we sorted Paul out with the CAA to get in his car and hit the bar.  I still hadn't seen Matt and waited at the B&W a bit longer then I went to the bar.  We had a couple of pints and then I saw Matt walk past.  He came and got beer from the van and then headed home.  I went back to the bar got drinks bought for Liz and I from 3 guys.  We stayed with them until the end then Liz drove me home.  Apparently Al came around in the night with Sister but I don't remember at all.
$3.25 latte, $2.89 stamps, $6 2 pints

Wednesday 17th June
Rudely awoken and evicted!  So at 8:30am I drove hungover and tired to the Coffee Pod.  I was supposed to be meeting Liz at the van for breakfast so I wouldn't be waiting around for Matt.  I sat with Doug and Al preparing to go out to the farm, then 10am came and went so I wandered around town looking for her.  When I got back to the pod she was there we had a coffee and went for breakfast/lunch at the Alleyway.  Then we went cruisin'.  We saw the guys from last night and when we got back to the pod both Christie and Matt were there.  Matt and Christie had words and then he joined us cruisin'.  We looked for a few places to park the van.  Then we had to go and get on the hot springs trip.  We had a really good day - we weren't really together at all but he saw his first whales and was really excited.  We checked out the campground and made our way home.  I wasn't sure where home would be but as we got onto fourth street I saw Calvin was still at the pod.  As we got closer, joking about staggering our entrances to the pod - I saw Christie sat in the van.  Then the shit hit the fan.  I would be here for months if I tried to explain it all but I hope in future years, when I read this, I'll remember what an arsehole he was and how I completely fell for it.  It seems he's being doing stuff with her for the whole week he was with me.  He's been blatantly lying to both of us.  I knew if Christie asked Claire she would tell her the truth and sure enough she did.  Christie asked Matt in front of me, if he'd slept with me and he said no!  They went and talked and then we went and talked and of course he talked me round.  I said I'd go to Aarons for a shower and maybe see him in the bar later.
Just as Claire got out of the shower there was a knock at the shack's door - Matt.  So Claire was my mediator because I know what I wanted to say but as soon as he's there in front of me I go to pieces.  So he answered a few questions - I wasn't entirely happy with the answers.  I decided I'll sleep on it and go and see him in the morning.  Claire and I talked some more and I decided I'd probably stay with him.  So I went down to the bar at midnight.  I couldn't see him there but I spoke to Stacey.  She was wasted and I said "you look like you've had a few!" jokingly of course and she said thanks - fuck off!!  So I was now in a great mood!  So I went home and slept - 2nd street.
$8 brekkie, $2 bread and doughnuts

Thursday 18th June
Claire drove us to the coffee pod this morning, and I slept for an hour and a half after she went to work.  I kind of decided that I would be a fool to stay with Matt and I got a latte to go and went!
I arrived at Bella Pacifica at 8am, not surprisingly Matt was asleep.  So I woke him and we talked.  We decided to be F&^k friends.  I climbed into bed with him for an hour - I was cold and couldn't sleep so I got up and explained I was leaving and he said he didn't realise I wanted to be cuddled so I got back in and got a cuddle.  Eventually he got up and went to wash so I chatted to Ilan and Ben which was really good and left.  I did my laundry and told Claire that I wasn't with him and then Claire and I spent the afternoon sitting on the dock.  We were at the Co-op and saw Christie - she was really nice and kind of made myself wake up.  F&*k him - I seriously think he is warped.  He doesn't know how to tell the truth.  I can't believe any word he says.  He's gone to Port today with Ilan and good riddance I say, well until I see him.  I think I've decided not to do or encourage anything and see what he does.  Anyway it's a big night out at the bar tonight and I've put on my sexiest clothes and he can't have me!
So now I'm at work.  I feel a lot happier with the situation.  I think I'll string him along a but more.  We kind of don't trust him with the van either.  I think a lawyer's going to get involved! and the heavies!
He came in and I was really off with him and then when I saw him at the bar he said I looked pretty - whatever!  He was getting a lot of attention from other girls in the bar.  I had a fair amount to drink - 4 bottles - and wanted to go home with him.  Claire called me a stupid cow and we rowed and I stormed off home.  I apologised to her when we got to the van and said I was angry at myself for wanting to go.

$3.05 latte, $3 laundry, $1.61 choc croissant, $1 crisps, $1 choc, $12 4 beers.

<these are extracts from my diaries written whilst travelling and working in Canada and the US in '97-'98>

13th - 15th June 1998

Saturday 13th June
We slept in quite late and as it was nice weather decided to go to the beach.  We went to Tonquin and had a really good time.  Matt went to work and I went back to the van, I was dozing when there was something going on outside.  They were trying to move a horse-box into the space where the boat frame was.  They couldn't get it in because we were in the way.  I'd left the keys in the outside of the door and they were just about to get in and move our van when I made myself known.  I took the van onto the road and waited for them to leave and then drove back.  I went and saw Liz to sort out or days off.  We had ice cream and fries and I saw Matt.  He came round after work but really needed to sleep and said he'd come over tomorrow morning at 8am.
$4 ice cream and fries

Sunday 14th June
He didn't arrive at 8am.  He didn't arrive at 9 or 10am or 11!  He finally showed up at 2.30pm!  Only 6.5 hours late! He spent twenty minutes with me and then he had to go to work.  So I spent all day sleeping and reading and then working at 5.  I went to the coffee pod at 3pm to get on the internet, unfortunately it was fully booked.  Christie spoke to me and apologised for not speaking to me on Wednesday night - it wasn't me it was Matt!  I felt really bad talking to her.  She said I could quickly check my messages and then I got scared if anyone had written back about Matt as she sat next to me while I looked.  Luckily no-one had written to me.  I went to work - spoke to Matt.  I told him that I heard Christie was asking someone for a room - so he asked her about it.  Once he finished work I saw him go to the bar with Christie and then about 20 minutes later he showed up and said that he'd split up with her and she was moving out! Meanwhile Dave called for Claire.  Matt said he would come back and meet me after work.  So he came back, watched me cash out and then met me up the road.  We had some beer, talked about the van and Christie and us.  Claire arrived back and we talked about the van - basically it's sold to Matt.
$4.27 roast beef sandwich, $3.30 latte, $12.40 beer

Monday 15th June

This morning I got up and Claire I had a drink in the van.  Sister and Doug arrived and swept Claire off to Ukee to work on the boat.  I went to work which was really boing - 8 customers for the first 3 hours, then the power went out.  Apparently a tree has come down on the power line by the ESSO.  So it should be pretty soon (it came back 8 hours later).

Matt and Ben went and looked at Calvin and now I'm in the pub waiting for the power to come back on.  I went back to work and coped for an hour with no power, writing everything down and doing cash manually.  Kevin told me to close at 4.15pm so I lost out on an hours pay.  Matt was supposed to come back and see me before he started work at 4pm but he didn't so Ilan and I hung out at the van for a bit, then went and bought some food and went to Aaron's to shower.  Aaron looked strangely fierce as at the weekend Tony shaved his head and said it would be funny to leave a but in the middle for the night and finish it off today, but Aaron couldn't get hold of Tony and then the power went off.  Then he was pretty happy to hear that Ilan had charged up shaver.  So I had a shower, we ate bagels, Aaron had his head shaved and then we left.  The power still wasn't on so I knew that Matt wouldn't be working so we went to Bella Pacifica.  Ilan scoped out his supposed new home i.e. Matt and Ben's but they weren't in.  So we went back to town.  Matt was walking along the road so we picked him up.  He was swing if the Weigh West Interact machine was working so he could buy some beer.  They have a generator but the interact didn't work.  We went back to Chez Moi and had a beer.  Ilan left soon after and Matt mentioned that he was supposed to be going to the beach with Ben, Jana etc etc and probably Christie - this meant that I couldn't go and seeing as we have a night off together I kind of wanted to be with him.  So he said he would walk home, tell Ben & Jana not to bother about him at the beach and cycle back.  He was gone for 2 hours!  I know I've only been with him for 1 week and I have no right to demand time with him but I'm only here for 3 more weeks and I really want to spend some time with him.

When he came back he was annoyed because he got a puncture and said he'll have to go home at 5am to sort that out and call his Mum and other stuff.  Then he'd come back and lie with me until he went to work.  I kind of became like a whingey girlfriend again "spend some more time with me..."  "Don't leave".  I really hate myself for doing it and I wish I could just be casual about the whole thing.  I'm going to try.

$2 toast and soup, $1.50 choc croissant, $2.85 bagels

<these are extracts from my diaries written whilst travelling and working in Canada and the US in '97-'98>

10th - 12th June 1998

Wednesday 10th June
Just as I got up this morning Claire arrived home - she'd been let 4 hours off work early so we went to Sea-Trek to see if they were doing their harbour tour - they'd already done a bit of it but said the guy would come over and pick us up for the second half.  So after getting a coffee and toilet from the Coffee Pod we embarked. We went to the Eagle's nest and then over to pick up the people from the Big Tree Trail.  We then went up the Inlet - saw some starfish, oyster farms and various other stuff.  It all lasted about 2 hours but it was really enjoyable.  Then we decided we'd go to the beach and work on our tans - and we've been here for almost 4 hours.  We're at South Chesterman and it really is gorgeous.  Hot, sunny and the scenery is stunning. Now we just have to go and get ready for our big night at Karaoke - I wonder if I'll pull?!  Claire says I'm in there and it shouldn't be too hard if I really want to.  Why not? Is what I say!  I've got 4 weeks left.  No enough time for something serious but enough to have some fun.
Well, we stayed at Chesterman until gone 7pm and then we went back into town.  We went to the coffee pod for some free drinks - then to the library to get some numbers for driveaways.  We then went to softball to check we weren't playing - we weren't/
We then went and bought a bottle of peach cider and sat on the dock and drunk it.  Liz said that Matt had been in looking for us ad she had sent him down to Chesterman's but he never found us.
We drunk our cider and had a really good chat about friendship and our degrees.  I saw Al who was back from the fishfarm and I saw Matt who was on his way back to the campsite for a shower.  We went in the bar to go to the toilet and everyone was in there - Ilan announced that he got the job at the Wick.  So, we said Hi to everyone and then went back to the van to get changed.  Pretty soon after we went back - Matt showed up so I went over and talked to him.  We ended up talking all night - along with singing RESPECT!  Christie was in the bar too but she wouldn't sit with us and I don't what was going on.  Matt said he's not with her but still living with her so things have to be discrete - and he really wanted to go for a walk with me after the bar.  So we left the bar and Matt got a lift home with Christie and he said he'll cycle back and meet me at the Chevron.  I waited for what seemed like ages, Claire and Al arrived so I could get my fleece out and then Matt showed up.  We walked to the school and sat on the swings and then we sat in the doorway. We talked for about 3 hours about everything and then we kissed.  It was such a sweet kiss, nothing else going on just pure snogging it was lovely.  We went back to the van and he cycled home.
When I got in the van I saw that Al had decided to stay the night.  So I slept with Al's feet in my face and him snoring!
$1.61 choc croissant, $6.50 cider, $8 Canterbury

Thursday 11th June
Claire went to work at 8am so I went with her - I didn't relish being in bed with Al all morning.  I tried to get over my hangover and looked at my email.  I wrote to Rich and Robbie.  Doug turned up - he'd been sacked for moonlighting at another fishfarm.  He then realised he had a week off along with Claire and Al so decided to go on holiday.  We'd already said about going to Kennedy lake and Claire said it would be OK it Matt and I just went for one night and drove back tomorrow.
Matt came in and saw me at work so I told him and he was pretty excited.  After work I met everyone in the bar as Doug and Al had been there all day.  I couldn't stay and watch them being like that so I went back to the van and got changed for softball.  Claire and I were both playing at the same time on different pitches.  Matt showed up to watch and then afterwards we sat around (we both lost) and tried to inspire some enthusiasm with everyone to go get the boar and make it out to the lake.  We went back into town to try and find Al and the VW.  Doug 'forgot' where he put it.  The VW was at PNG and Al was passed out in his van.  So the convoy was ready.  Claire, Al, Doug and Sister in the VW, Matt and I in Calvin and Ilan in  Zoe behind.  We got as fas as industrial way and Claire stopped - they had forgotten the boat!  So Ilan took the lead and I followed.  It was a long way - it took 2 hours - finally reaching our destination at midnight.  We still weren't sure if it was the correct sport so we lit a fire and waited.  They arrived about half-an-hour later, Claire being stressed after spending the whole journey with two drunk people telling her how to drive and insisting they knew the way when they didn't.  She was almost in tears by the time she got there.  We sat and drunk and ate marshmallows, Matt and I went for a walk and talked.  Then pretty soon we all went to bed.  They sky was really clear and the moon was out.
$1.90 Fruitopia, $2.40 sausage sandwich

Friday 12th June
We heard Claire, Doug and Al sorting out the boat.  But we carried on lounging.  We eventually got up and went in the lake - Matt wouldn't get right in as he said it was too cold.  He made us dinner, pasta & sauce, but we then started talking about Christie and I lost my appetite.  We left at 1:30pm and drove back to Tofino because Matt had to get to work.  I dropped him off at Bella Pacifica and then went and slept.  Danielle came around and said that she really couldn't give us anymore than $1700.  But she was really nice and said if we couldn't find a buyer by the time we leave she'll still have him for $1700.  I then went to the B&W and tidied and cleaned Calvin - he looked so good.  I went to Aaron's and showered and did my dishes and then went back to Chevron and waited for Matt.  He arrived, cycled home and then came back.
$13.50 condoms, cream cheese, crisps.

<these are extracts from my diaries written whilst travelling and working in Canada and the US in '97-'98>

7th - 9th June 1998

Sunday 7th June
I had a day-shift today which went pretty quickly after yesterday's 12 hours.  The South African guy came in and I think asked me for a date - well he said he'd see me in the bar.  After work I sat and read for a bit.  Claire and Ilan went Whale-Watching.  Then we went to Aaron's for a shower and then to bed.
$5 Mike's hard at bar

Monday 8th June
I had to get up early as Danielle was coming to pick the van up to take it to Ucluelet for the mechanic.  So she arrived at 8:45am.  I went and did my laundry and surfed the net.  I wrote to Chris, Rich, Robbie, Alex and tried lil Andy but his address didn't work.  I also checked out some driveaways, Bovey, Portsmouth, NFL (to find Andy) and then it crashed.  I went and bought my Dad his birthday card and things from the drugstore and now I'm back here at the Coffee Pod.  I hope Danielle will come back so I know when my home's back.
She came back and said that she needed $1000 of work done and she would offer us $1650-$1700.  That's just not enough - so I think we're going to with $2100 take it or leave it.
Work was fun - I wore my "Canada Kicks Ass" top and got asked on 3 dates and got $12 in tips.
$3 sausage roll, $4.27 card, $4.93 toothpaste and deodorant.

Tuesday 9th June
Claire didn't work until 11am today so we went to the coffee pod together.  I waited half-an-hour and went on the internet for an hour.  I had 5 messages!  Chris (!!), Robbie, Big Andy, Rich and Darren Ambler.  It was cool to hear from them all again - even Chris.  His message was really sweet but I'm trying not to fall again.  I felt uncomfortable being on the computer so I left and went present shopping.  Earrings for Sharon, Fortune Bracelets for Sharon & Heather and a card for Robbie and Andrea.  They are getting married and I'm definitely invited!
I called some Driveaways but directory enquiries didn't have any numbers.  We'll have to go to the library and check out a Vancouver Yellow Pages.
I went around to Aaron's and he was still in bed.  He stayed in bed for a further 90mins - 2 hours.  I then went and had a shower and he cooked us prawns and rice.  We had a really good chat - one of the best!
Work was fun.  Matt's boss didn't work so he made me some nachos for free - friends in high places! He went to the bar once he'd finished at 10pm and I said I'd probably meet him there later.  Sure enough I did and we got on really well!  He lives in a tent at Bella Pacifica so no promotion to man with plumbing!  I told him what I was going to be up to tomorrow and he said he'd probably meet me.  And he said he'd probably go to Karaoke as well.
When we got back to the van we found that the silicone hadn't worked as well as we'd hoped and the bed was soaked - including my sleeping bag.
$3.95 cookie, latte, $18.24 Earrings for Sharon, $9.50 card and fortune bracelets, $1.35 meat pie, $10 3 pints.

<these are extracts from my diaries written whilst travelling and working in Canada and the US in '97-'98>

4th - 6th June 1998

Thursday 4th June
Got up very late again and had pizza for brunch.  Everyone was just sat around watching tv and drinking cups of tea - nothing changes!  We watched "As Good As It Gets" again - I fell asleep.
Craig arrived after his travels in Central and South America.  I had a shower and Darren and I had a serious chat.  Last night somehow the subject got around to Rob.  Apparently I went further than I admitted before and Darren was shocked.  So shocked he turned his back on me in bed.  I cuddled up to him this morning and things were OK again.  Then he asked me if I'd slept with anyone and I said NO. And he asked if I wanted to - I didn't answer.  I ended up telling him all about the Aaron thing.  He seemed OK, in fact he seemed more upset about the whole Rob thing - I think he figured that he only had one day left with me anyway so what the hell!?
Sally made us play Tennis - me and Darren against Sally and Mark.  We didn't play a proper game - we just hit it around a bit.  We then went back, had the remainder of the beef in bagels and watched loads of t.v.  Ben popped around and I said bye to everyone - gave Jason a kiss!

Friday 5th June
Got up at 4:30am to catch the bus.  Darren saw me off - that's it for us, I think he isn't as into me anymore.  I slept all the way to Horseshoe Bay then waited an hour for the ferry.  Slept a bit on the ferry then rushed to get the bus - I got a cab.  I slept most of the way to Port and then to Ucluelet.  I met Claire and Ilan at the Coffee Pod. I met Claire and Ilan at the Coffee Pod and we chatted at the pod for a while and then went back to the van.  I came to work at 5 'o'clock and for some reason volunteered to do a 12 hour shift tomorrow.  I need a shower too and I don't know when I'm going to get that.  I'm feeling really tired at the moment - not surprising really seeing as I've been up since 4:20am.  I can't believe I'm doing 12 hours tomorrow.  Went to the bar and had one pint.
$17 coach, $3 coffee, $2 junk, $7 Taxi, $8.50 Ferry, $1 Gum, $7.50 pints for Claire and Me.

Saturday 6th June
It was a struggle getting up this morning ready for my 12 hours.  Claire went kayaking.  I went to the Post Office and had a letter from Andy (Big), so that gave me something to do at work.  I told him all my love life stuff.  He's not visiting "surprise surprise" but looks forward to seeing me in England.  So my work day consisted of writing to Andy and reading magazines, along with listening to CBC and writing this.  Eric let me have a break so I sent for lunch with Ilan and Claire and I'm getting another one in about an hour - I'm not sure if it's paid though.  I started flagging at 7 'o'clock after I'd been here for 8 hours.  Claire kept me company for a while but we didn't have a lot of talk about, for a change.  Ilan's been offered an interview at the Wick on Wednesday so he's really happy.  We're hoping that the guys are going to come and visit next weekend.
I went through the bar to the toilet and someone shouted my name - it was Brendan.  I'd left Claire in the shop so I had to rush back.  Then he came in and got a shock when he saw Claire there.  He did the whole "sell yourself in 10 minutes" thing.  Going on about his pool tournaments etc all of which we took with a pinch of salt.  Claire went home and by the time I got there Brendan was sat on our floor.  He soon went but said he'd see Claire tomorrow.
$7.25 dinner, $1 choc


<these are extracts from my diaries written whilst travelling and working in Canada and the US in '97-'98>

1st - 3rd June 1998

Monday 1st June
Slept in quite later and lay there thinking I should get up when there was a knock at the van.  It was a girl who was interested in buying Calvin.  I showed her around and we took him out for a spin, she seemed really interested.  When she left I went to the pod, read the paper, chatted to Claire and then Ilan showed up so I sat with him for a while.  Danielle, the girl who wants the van, found a friend who knows something about vans so we want back to the van for him to have a look.  He seemed quite positive, so fingers crossed!  She wants to take Calvin to a mechanic in Uclulet tomorrow but Claire's got the day off tomorrow so that won't work.  Scott arrived and he was at the van when I got there.  I packed my bag for tomorrow and then left to see Aaron at the laundromat to pay back his $10 that he didn't remember giving to me.  I also called Darren to get him to call me back at work which he did and we sorted out tomorrow.  It took him ages to get through because I had the ringer off for some reason.
$1.14 sausage roll, $2 ice-cream, $9 dinner

Tuesday 2nd June
I got up and dressed and went to the Coffee Pod for breakfast - I bought a magazine and gum and got on the bus.
When we got to Horseshoe Bay Darren wasn't there and a message on my Telekey said that Darren had hired a car and might be a bit late.  About 15 minutes later he arrived in a Ford Taurus wagon - quite nice! We had beer, pizza and watched "As Good As It Gets" - it was great!
$5 magazine, $1 gum, $16.80 bus, $40.10 bus, $8.50 Ferry, $3.50 taxi.

Wednesday 3rd June
We got up pretty late and went into town.  I picked up Claire's sunglasses and we took the hire car back.  We then just had a day wandering around the village.  I got an email address (kpickford@hotmail.com) and I bought a T-shirt "Canada Kicks Ass".  I saw Andy who said Ben was back and we ate out and had coffee and a really nice day.  Darren cooked Roast Beef, Roast Potatoes, Yorkshire Pudding etc, etc - it was really good.   I went to bed quite early - 10:30 and then about 45 minutes later the doorbell went - I thought it was Jason again but it was many voices that I couldn't place.  Eventually Darren came up and said it was Steve, Matt, Jon and Rich - back from Mexico!  It was good timing that I was there.  They had a great time and spent lots of money and now are doing various stuff;  Rich is coming to the Island en route to Alaska, Matt is staying in Whistler, Steve is going home on Sunday and Jon hasn't a clue - as normal!  He may even come here!  I chatted to them until well past 1am and then decided that I really had to go to bed.
$5 bagels, $5 coffee, $28 T shirt, $3.50 magnet


<these are extracts from my diaries written whilst travelling and working in Canada and the US in '97-'98>

29th - 31st May 1998

Friday 29th May
Mark's birthday!  Claire didn't work today so she had a nice lie-in.  We went round to Al's to shower before I went to work - they all went for breakfast at the Alley-Way.  Work was quite busy.  Kevin did the schedule and have given me Tuesday thru Thursday off - so I'm going to Whistler! I asked Liz to swap on Friday too so I might be able to stay an extra night.  I can't wait.  Claire spent the day hanging out at Al's and towards the end of my shift she said she was going to the Coffee Pod to try and sort out her schedule so Scott can visit.  I haven't seen her since, about 2 hours. After work I sat and read for a bit - called Darren who is now all excited about Tuesday. Now I'm sat here "at home" watching people potter in their boats and enjoying the warmth!
Claire arrived and said she was going to Chesterman to watch the sunset and did I want to go?  Well I had 3 pages of my book to finish but I decided to go anyway.  We got around to Al's and waiting for our ride - Cory- she didn't show up. So we watched the sunset from Al's and then they were going to hitch to the beach.  I was in a very depressed mood so I decided to go back to the van.  I went and got some more money and bought a phone-card and some bread - so I could have beans and bread.  Anyway, I met them all again and changed my mind and decided to go with them.  We started walking and no-one was picking us up and I got as far as the Crab-Bar and I decided, that was that - I'm going home.  I went back, ate my beans, called Darren - again! and finished my book.
$2.70 chips, $1 chocolate, $25 bread and phone card.

Saturday 30th May
Slept in late and then went to Al's for breakfast.  Claire was inside for ages so after a while I knocked, went in and left.  I went and organised hot springs for 1 'o'clock.  We had a great day, the boat guy was brilliant  - we even saw a bear.  After our great day (I felt a bit bad because the Remote Passages woman complained to me about Darren cancelling before) we went and taped up the van - Claire lying on top of Calvin with silicone gun in her hand!  We then went over to Al's to shower and just as I got out, Al and Roxanne arrived.  On our way to Al's we had seen Aaron - drinking at Tony's of course.  I figured the only chance for me to have a serious chat with him is to see him when he's drunk.  So I went back there - he was fine and in a happy mood.  Ilan showed up - a chance to meet more people, although he's very pissed off because the RMCP got on to him about sleeping in his van and so now he's living at Bella Pacifica.  Aaron went to get more beer - so I went with him - this was when he really started opening up - he said he got really depressed this week and began thinking that his life is a mess and needed reassurance.  We saw Claire at the B&W so then he shut up.  We went back to Tony's and I sat outside with Ilan and Louise then went inside later.  Then they all decided to go to the bar - so I finished up my drink and went along.  As soon as Aaron got in there he started to talk to Robert - which was kind of freaky.  He left pretty quickly and I said I'd see him back at Tony's and then he came back.  After I drunk my drink I went over and talked to him - as he was sitting alone.  It turns out that Robert is Aaron schoolfriend's little brother!  Anyway he was very drunk and depressed and basically I ended up talking to him for a long time - he wanted to carry on talking so we decided to go to his place and I slept on the couch with Hoek.
$2.75 latte, $11 B&W, $3.75 bar

Sunday 31st May
Aaron gave me a lift to the coffee pod and then I saw Hoek going crazy in the jeep outside Movies & Munchies so I went over to try and calm him down.  Aaron came out with two videos so I kind of hinted that I could watch them with him but he said he really wanted to watch them alone.  So I went back to the van.  I lay down to read - but couldn't concentrate on it so I tried to sleep - my mind was racing so I thought I would write my diary.  I didn't get very far when Claire and Ilan turned up.
Remember that guy that gave us a lift from Port to Victoria and Claire reckoned he was a manic depressive - he had a lot of ideas about fixing the world and big personal plans?  Remind you of anyone?  Aaron seems to go from planning for huge, exciting things in the future and being super depressed for the present - it makes me very upset to say it before I seriously think he's a manic depressive!  In which case I can't do anything and am better off out of it but I do care about him a  great deal and I want to help him as well as be with him.  Maybe I should just stay away like he wants me to.
We're now getting quite worried about selling the van - we've had no serious offers.  My job this week is to get Sally and Jason to buy it.  They can come and pick it up when they visit and take me back to Whistler too.
$2.95 latter.

<these are extracts from my diaries written whilst travelling and working in Canada and the US in '97-'98>

26th - 28th May 1998

Tuesday 26th May
Slept in incredibly late and then went and did my washing.  I finally got my mail from Whistler- a sexy nightie from Sharon and a letter from Alex saying he won't visit.  He also said that Chris mentioned that I've done subtle digs about him and Simone - I haven't at all!  It's all been friendly enquiries.  I went and had a shower at Doug's and then met Claire from work.  We went to buy our silicone for the van and a new battery for my alarm clock - Claire was late for work again.
We silicone the door frame - so hopefully that'll be dry - and then I went to work.  We were quite busy but I still had time to fix the curtain.  I've been thinking about Fred a lot today - don't know why.

Wednesday 27th May
I had a really shitty night's sleep.  The silicone didn't work in the middle at the back so we had the Tupperware there to catch all the drips.  I think I was thinking about that too much and worried about rolling into the bucket and getting soaked.  I don't think I properly went to sleep until Claire went to work.  It rained all night and still this morning - will it ever stop?
When I got to the Pod, Claire was on the phone to Scott again.  Apparently he's going to come here before he goes back to Toronto which will possible be next week!  So Claire better get a move on and call about her sunglasses and then Scott can bring them with him.
After Claire finished work we called Aaron and he came and picked us up.  We hung out at his place all afternoon - Claire and Hoek slept, Aaron read, I watched tv and played on the computer.  Then we went and visited Al who was remarkably sober considering he'd been off work for 3 or 4 hours.  We sat there for a while and then went to Baseball.  Claire and I played on different teams for a change - but we both lost and got very wet.  Then we hit the bar!  Had three pints and got quite drunk.  Robert was there but a couple of girls were all over him.
Still thinking about the job at the pod - I'd save a lot of money on food and coffee and I'm not doing much with my free time at the moment.

Thursday 28th May
Woke up - hung over.  Went to Coffee Pod for water, wash and coffee.  I then realised that I didn't have any money for breakfast so I had to go back to the van.  I got my money and the brown sauce that Mum had sent me and went and had my faithful hangover cure - sausage sandwich.  I had to be at work for 11 so after checking my mail - a letter from insurance - I went to work.  Darren called me and we talked for an hour and a half, it made me really miss him and think about visiting.  After work I saw Ilan was in the bar so I joined him for a drink (I had coffee), then he came and hung out at the van with me - which was cool.  We talked about sex and men and women for a couple of hours and then he left.  Claire arrived soon after.  She had been for a hike on Radar Hill and she got stressed about being lost.  I gave her a hug and she cried a bit and then raced off to see the sunset at Tonquin with everyone.  After this interlude with Claire my mood plummeted. I really didn't want to go to the beach, I didn't want to do anything except go to Whistler - right away.  I called Darren and I was seriously considering leaving tomorrow.  All I have to do was get Sunday off and get Liz to start 2 hours early.  I met Ilan at the bar and we ended up staying for most of the night.  I talked to Graeme for most of the evening - drank too much - 3 Luckies - spent too much and went to bed at midnight.  Claire arrived about an hour later.
Money spent:  $2.40 sausage sandwich, $6.50 lunch, $1 Crunchie, $2 stamps, $9.50 3 Luckies and crisps.

<these are extracts from my diaries written whilst travelling and working in Canada and the US in '97-'98>

23rd - 25th May 1998

Saturday 23rd May
Placed all the drip buckets out and went to work.  Tofino certainly is miserable in the rain!
Some random thoughts - Aaron looked sexy yesterday!  Mike the Gardener is very nice! I hate rain!  I can't wait to go home.  What can I get the guys for presents?  I hope Fred visits.
Work was pretty boring - I ordered toast for breakfast and drunk lots of coffee.  Elan came in  - he's still not found a job.  Claire came in after work - she gave me her lunch and then Mrs Cheung gave us some sushi - which was interesting!  After work we went and put our signs up for the van and assessed the 'damp' situation in the van.  Aaron had lent us his baseball glove so I practised catching with that for a while then we drove to his place.  In total we were there for about 4 hours, we both had showers, I called Darren, we watched tv and played on the computer.  He never turned up.  I left him a thank-you note and some chocolate orange and we went back to our 'house' - Ocean West parking lot.

Sunday 24th May
Alex's birthday!  I lay in bed listening to the drips for a while getting depressed about the weather.  I got up and sorted out the bed and buckets.  Then I came to the pod - where I am now, surprise surprise!  I read the paper - all about the Irish Peace Agreement.  I guess it's kind of a historic moment.  70 odd % voted Yes in Northern Ireland and 94% in Southern Ireland.  There's still links with Britain - so basically it's the minority in Northern Ireland - Catholics - that voted No.
After Claire finished work we went and called for Ilan who was still in bed.   I told him that there may be an opening in the SandBar.  We then went to get a boat to Clayoquat Island/Stubbs Island.  This old lady owns it and just opens it to visitors every May 24th - Queen Victoria's birthday.  We walked practically the whole way around the island and just sat and dozed in the garden for a while.  We had a really good afternoon.  After being in Ilan's van which was so cosy and homely it made us motivated to sort our van out.  Claire climbed on top with the Duct tape and then we drove to the Beer and Wine where we borrowed the broom, mop, Mr Clean and hot water.  After that we were feeling a lot better about Calvin.  We then went "home" and walked to the Sandbar.  Aaron was on Tony's deck already quite drunk and we had a strange conversation.  He said he was coming to the bar but he never turned up.  I really miss him and long for a proper conversation with him.  Doug invited us to his place to play cards but Claire and I were pretty tired so we went home.

Monday 25th May
It was really hard to get up this morning.  The duct tape seemed to have worked but the middle near the back was soaking.  I went to the Coffee Pod to ask for a job but no bosses were there so I went to the Post Office although I still had no mail.  So I went to work.  Apparently 2 girls are interested in the van and they'd supposed to be coming in today to see me - this is good because they should be as ignorant as we were when we bought Calvin.

Keep your mind occupied,

your heart open, 

and your legs shaved.

And remember:

Expect true love when you least expect it.

Work turned out to be incredibly boring - 18 customers in 6 hours.  Liz arrived 10 minutes late almost in tears.  She had to drive her friend back to Port and back last night and she only got up at 5.  She was also $20 down last night again - which has to come out of her pay.  Anyway after work I went back to the van and thankful for the sun as it dried out all the cushions, curtains and sheet.  We then went to baseball.  I played back-stop! and when I hit I was always out - but I had a good time anyway.  We stayed quite late, playing for fun, we lost the proper game.  Then, of course we went to the bar.  I only had one drink and went home to Calvin. 

<these are extracts from my diaries written whilst travelling and working in Canada and the US in '97-'98>

20th - 22nd May 1998

Wednesday 20th May
Happy Birthday Claire!  We went to Edgars and met Claire's parents.  We stopped by at the post office and Claire got a card from my Mum and a letter from Scott.  We then all went to the coffee pod where Claire opened her presents.  She seemed to like the presents I gave her - Armadillo, "Where is Kitkatla" and the framing of the beast.  After the unwrapping session we went down to Tofino Air to see if we could get on a flight.  I didn't expect to be going as you can only fit 3 people plus the pilot but Veronica and Richard were really nice and said it was my birthday treat too.  It was brilliant!  We flew down the inlet, over to Long Beach - where we saw the sea lions, and then along the coast.  We saw a whale just by the rocks at Schooner Beach and then we flew over Meares Island and back to 1st st dock.  Because we'd seen this whale at Schooner we decided to go and sit on the rocks there and have a look - but alas we didn't see anything.  We then walked along Chesterman but the wind was so cold that we didn't walk for long.  We went and warmed up with cups of tea and coffee and cookies at the Common Loaf and then went gift shopping.  Claire wanted to go to the Alley-Way café for her birthday dinner and after being beaten by a burrito we went to Baseball again.  I went into bat as Claire's leg hurt.  I didn't get anywhere but I did hit the ball which is something.  After baseballing we just went back to Edgars and watched tv and showered.  Then we went to bed.

Thursday 21st May
Overslept as there was no sun to wake us.  We met Claire's parents and they left quite quickly - after buying us a croissant and apple fritter.  We saw Tony from Whistler - full of energy as always.  Then I had to go to work.  I talked to Kevin about the $23 and basically he said I wasn't entitled to it.  I'm really hoping that all the lads visit me just so they can take home most of my stuff - while Claire was unloading stuff on her Mum I sort of discovered that I have a lot of stuff.
After work we invited Elan for dinner Chez Calvin.  We ate refried beans with tomato sauce, garlic, onion and pasta and it was quite nice really.  Claire and I had half a bottle of cider each and then hit "Lucky" night at the bar!  My latest "amour" turned up.  Either it was wishful thinking or he was definitely looking at me while I was dancing.  And at the end of the night he came over and introduced himself to me!  But, apparently, he's been fired by the coffee pod for prioritising his Loft job.  So maybe there's a job going at the Pod?  Went home to Calvin and shared a bed with Claire!

Friday 22nd May
Claire started work at 7am so I stretched out.  I got up about 10am and made the table.  I was excited about going to the Post Office as I called Darren yesterday and he said he'd sent Sharon's parcel here and other cards - but alas it's not here yet.  I'm still not sure when I'm leaving here, where I'm going or what I'm doing.  Darren wants me to go with him but the money factor is big.  I went and sat at the Coffee Pod for 3 hours - I talked with Jana for a while and Tony turned up.  I then called Aaron and went and dog-sat while he tried out his new board.  I had a shower and Claire arrived after work and we did our dishes.  (If it carries on raining tonight we may ask to stay at Aaron's and watch some videos - hopefully he'll let us).
I went to work in the evening.  Claire sat with me for a while and I spoke to veggie man who's also a gardener!  He was building the window boxes at the Maquinna - his name's Mike.  Claire went to bed outside the B&W and then once I'd finished work we drove to Ocean West.  It poured with rain most of the night and my half of the bed was a bit damp.

<these are extracts from my diaries written whilst travelling and working in Canada and the US in '97-'98>

17th - 19th May 1998

Sunday 17th May
The risk was well taken, there was no problem.  It was a bit of a shock getting up.  I started at 9am, housekeeping.  It was back to the old grind.  It was quite good though, as they showed the whole of the FA Cup final which was played yesterday.  They did have to score just as I was changing rooms!  Arsenal beat Newcastle 1- 0 (apparently it was 2-0 - I missed 2 goals), with Overmars (?) scoring.  So Arsenal have done the double double equalling Man United.
I finished all my rooms by 1:45pm and then went to the Eagle Aerie gallery to see if I could get this book signed for Claire.  But unfortunately he only did stuff at 11am so I was a bit late.  I called Aaron to see if I could come get a shower but there was no answer.  I have no idea when Claire is getting here.  I'm trying to get better at this whole being on your own thing.  I'm surrounded by beautiful scenery and what am I doing? - sitting in the van.  But I don't really want to go out.  I'm feeling reclusive today - as  I feel everyday.  But how can I feel reclusive but still want people around me?  I desperately need a shower.  I'll go and call again later.
I think I called him one last time and by that time it was 5 'o' clock and I thought that Claire would be back soon.  So I went and bought People magazine and a chocolate bar.  Claire and her parents turned up.  They brought me lots of goodies from home - loads of chocolate and knickers and socks.  We went and settled them into Edgars and then went to dinner.  First of all we went to the Schooner but that was really busy so we went to the Loft.  It was all complimentary too!  We then went to Al's to shower - neither he not Doug were there or at the Maquinna.
I think I've come to a decision about Aaron.  He's just not very nice to me.  He says he's my friend but he doesn't act like it.  He doesn't generally have a good word to say to me.  He basically needs me more than I need him - for dogsitting - well that's what I'm trying to convince myself of.
Claire and I went back to Calvin - had a nice chat about men and both of us decided we need new men.  Robert who Claire works with is kind of nice.  He's my next target.

Monday 18th May
Victoria Day!  Claire was late for work because for some reason my clock was half-an-hour slow.  So then for my next three hours sleep I kept checking it.  I went to housekeeping and they only had six rooms occupied and only one of them had checked out.  I ended up doing 3 rooms in 2 hours - whilst watching Sally, Jeopardy and Days....  I then went to the Pod where I am now - writing my diary and deciding whether I should go to Aaron's or not.  I guess if he wants me he should come and find me - he knows I'm generally here.
Well , he turned up at the Pod with some bloke.  I spoke to him briefly but I'm trying to wean myself off him - it's not working very well.
Claire's parents finally turned up and we waited for her to finish work.  Then they organised a spot of whale-watching for tomorrow afternoon - then we went to the gallery and my surprise part of Claire's present nearly wasn't a surprise.  We then watched Claire try on her bridesmaid dress and I went to work.
Work was kind of busy - I had a whole bunch of voids at once and then ended up being $23.20 over.  Of course when I was $10 under on Sunday I had to pay but yesterday they wouldn't let me keep t.  But I'm going to ask about it on Thursday.  Elan came in towards the end of my shift - he hadn't left town.  He's going job hunting tomorrow and will probably be sticking around.  We went to the bar with him for a drink and then went home.

Tuesday 19th May
A nice lie in.  I know I've only got up two days in a row but that was enough.  I'm going to Aaron's to dogsit later I'm not sure at what time 12 or 1.  But as I came back from checking my lack of mail yet again he drove past.  He said he was going back to bed so I don't know when to go round.  Claire's going on a special whale-watch and I'd kind of like to go but I've given Aaron my word now.  So here I am sitting at the Coffee Pod yet again, with two hours to kill and it's so hot!  I asked Edgar how much the family suite is and it's $75 for two and $10 extra for each extra person.  So it may be an idea for the lads.
I went to Aaron's and I had a really pleasant afternoon.  He went surfing and I phoned Mum and then had a shower.  Aaron came back because his board broke and then we just sat together reading.  It felt like a bit of a waste as Claire and her parents went whale-watching. But sitting in the sun at the shack was very pleasant.  I met Claire at Edgars and then we went to Baseball.  I didn't play but I have a quick bowl and hit afterwards.  Al was off to the fish farm so Claire wanted to pop round to see him.  Of course he was wasted again and Claire didn't really talk to him.  We met quite a few people, Doug and I played a few hands of Rummy and then we went home.

<these are extracts from my diaries written whilst travelling and working in Canada and the US in '97-'98>

14th - 16th May 1998

Thursday 14th May
When Claire got up at 5:45am it was pouring with rain so she drove to work.  The van was very damp and at 7:30am I had to put the buckets out.  I eventually got up at 8:30am after listening to 2.5 hours of the coffee pod music.  So yet again, I sat around in the coffee pod for far too long.  I went and picked Catherine up from the camp site so she could catch the bus.  I checked out another parking lot that we may be able to stop in and asked about reprints for Claire's birthday.  The other guys showed up and yet again we sat around at the Coffee Pod.  Claire left for the treehouse with an alcohol smelling Al.  I called Aaron and went around to have a shower.  He was odd, still wisecracking and taking the piss but somehow it sounds a lot more malicious.  I wanted to stay there tonight but after I said that I'd be in the van alone he never offered.  He does want me to take Hoek for the afternoon though, so I'm going there tomorrow at 12:30pm.  Darren called me at work.  He's still a bit pissed off about yesterday.  He went into Vancouver around 5pm but the puppet, that I got Claire for her birthday, had already been picked up by Claire's Mum.  So he went all the way into the city in rush hour for nothing!  He didn't get home until 9:30pm.
I'm at a bit of a loose end now.  Claire's gone and isn't back until Sunday and after 2 weeks of visitors I'm suddenly alone, and the only place to hang out is the van.

Friday 15th May
Set my alarm for 7:30am so I could get up and move the van if necessary - it was pouring with rain so I reset the alarm for 8:30 then 9:30 and eventually I got up at 10:30.  I left the curtains open so the van didn't look so much like someone was sleeping in there.  It rained most of the morning and didn't let up while I went to the CoOp to buy some bagels for breakfast.  I toasted them on the propane flame the way Darren showed me.  I read my book and drank some coffee.  I went round to Aarons, sat and chatted for a while and then took Hoek to Chesterman beach.  We managed to adopt 2 other dogs while we were there - who wanted to come home with me.  So now I'm back at the shack.  I've watched ENG and now writing my diary.  Aaron came home and then went for a surf.  I dogs for a while and answered the phone and then left for work.  It was really busy and the place was crawling with police.  Apparently this weekend two years ago there was a riot and bottles were thrown at the RCMP.  The liquor store isn't selling any bottled beer this weekend.  I got scared about where to sleep so I went to Aaron's.  I also had a shower while I was there.  Hoek was pleased to see me.

Saturday 16th May
Aaron got in at 4:30am and said I should move the van as Loek wouldn't be able to get his truck out.  So I got up and moved it.  Calvin barely fits through the gate and as a result I scraped the side but it was OK as the fence was fine!  I then was wide awake so Aaron and I chatted for a while and then I went to sleep with Hoek keeping my feet warm.
I washed and changed at the Co-op and managed to make it to work on time.  I've asked for a couple of days housekeeping and I should be working about 12 hours!
There's loads of kids around for the weekend so I've had to ID nearly everyone.  Aaron said he would probably be watching videos this evening so my plan was to watch them with him.  As I was getting into the van Elan showed up, so we went for a beer.  I told him about the bylaw problem and he became a bit disillusioned with the place.  I showed him Chesterman beach and Tonquin.  I kept calling Aaron but there was never any answer. So I wrote a postcard to Kevin - who I felt guilty about as I forgot him in the last batch.  Then I went and did my laundry - something constructive I thought.
I got talking to this couple in the laundromat about my travels and they thought it was cool.  I went to the B&W to call again and there was still no answer.  I met Elan again who is even more depressed.  He's job hunting tomorrow so hopefully things will pick up.  I found out where Aaron is he's at Tony's. I saw his jeep!
I just realised all I've had to eat today is one bagel and a bag of chips.  I'm taking a risk and parking in town tonight.  Back on second street.  Claire's back tomorrow.

<these are extracts from my diaries written whilst travelling and working in Canada and the US in '97-'98>

11th - 13th May 1998

Monday 11th May
My first day off.  We were going to go to the Hot Springs but changed our minds so we hung out in town instead and then went to the rainforest trail and Long Beach and Schooner Cove.  Catherine was supposed to be arriving so we thought we'd got to the bar and hope to meet her.
Darren and I are out yet again, this time at the Loft.  We met Claire at 10pm after a succulent steak and flavoursome salmon.  Claire was sleeping so we changed our mind about going to the bar and headed out of town for the night.

Tuesday 12th May
On our way into town to cancel hot springs - as Darren didn't have his swimming trunks - we saw Catherine walking the other way.  I turned around and picked them up and took them to Bella Pacifica.  We then went into town for brekkie at the pod and then wandered around town.  We went in the Roy Henry Vickers Gallery and then to Tonquin Beach.  I went in quite far as Darren splashed me so much - I may as well go in further.  We then met Catherine, Ian and Peter a guy they met on the bus, at the Coffee Pod and then we went Whale Watching.  Totally Awesome!  We went down to long beach and actually went along with them.  It's the first time I'd seen their faces!  We also saw a whole load of sea lions.  They were more interested in us that we were in them.  For dinner we bought food for the BBQ and went back to the campsite.  Wieners and weenie roast sticks yet again.  Claire went and played softball and arrived later.  We thought we could stay there for the night but the gates didn't open until 7am so we had to leave before 11pm so Claire could get to work in the morning.  So one man and two girls in the bed yet again.

Wednesday 13th May
Claire got up at 5:45am and then Darren and I got up at 7:30am to escape the bylaw man.  We had a pretty leisurely breakfast and then he left to go back to Whistler.  I felt really empty and kind of strange and had to have a hot chocolate!
I met Catherine and that again at the coffee pod and basically we did the whole cafe lifestyle.  We sat there until 1ish and then went around all the galleries - finishing with the Maquinna!  Catherine and I went to buy postcards and met with Anita and Jess who'd just arrived off the bus.  They joined us in the bar and Claire went for a sleep.  They all went back to the campsite and Claire and I had a quick gossip in our sleeping bags and then she went over to Al's for a shower and a chat and I went over half-an-hour later.
Al works on an Oyster farm for 1 week and then 1 week off and the day he comes back he tends to binge.  I couldn't stand seeing him like that so I said I'd meet Claire in the bar.  I went and called Darren who still wasn't in so I had a great chat with Liz at the B&W for about 2 hours - then we went to Karaoke.  I was supposed to be singing "Like a Virgin" but I chickened out.  Claire eventually arrived at about midnight and we left pretty quickly as Claire had to get up at 6 for work.

<these are extracts from my diaries written whilst travelling and working in Canada and the US in '97-'98>