http://pixiebride.blogspot.co.uk/2015/06/two-weeks-ago-we-moved-in-to-our-new.html
http://www.tommys.org/miscourage?
I realised when I shared it that I ended my story only half way through so I thought I should finish it off.
So, after my second scan that showed there were still "products of conception" in my womb. We opted this time for the "managed" method which involved using pessaries which stimulate the womb to empty.
I was advised to get up early Saturday morning and use the pessaries, go back to bed while they worked and then wait.
Up to now I hadn't had any pain with the miscarriage whatsoever which surprised the medical staff I'd met. They suggested I'd been lucky.
My husband got up and looked after our daughter but by 10ish still nothing had happened so I got up. Within the hour I was doubled over in pain with contractions lasting around 60 seconds every 90 seconds. It was absolute hell. The only thing I can compare it to is child birth but without the pain relief, support and joyous end. After each contraction I bled heavily. I took the prescribed pain killers which did nothing until I "doubled up" with Ibuprofen which made me slightly more comfortable.
This continued for about 6 hours after which I managed to come downstairs and lie on the settee and within another hour there was no more pain. It stopped as quickly as it started and I felt back to normal that evening and even had a day out the next day.
I really hoped this was the last of it.
I'd been signed off work for the week and spent the time visiting one of my NCT friends who'd just had a baby and preparing the house for my parents who were visiting again to babysit while my husband and I had tickets for the theatre.
I was still bleeding but not as heavily as before but by Thursday I started to worry. I will just say the bleeding "changed" and will spare you the details. I called the Early Pregnancy clinic who advised that bleeding should still be expected and to see how it goes over the next few days.
As the weekend was coming up and the clinic wouldn't be open and I was due back to work on Monday I called again Friday morning and they managed to find me a time for, yet another, scan.
My Mum and Dad had arrived at this point but had been given a lift so didn't have their car. My husband was at work in London so I asked my childminder if she'd mind having Edith for the morning.
I had the scan and they said they couldn't see any more "product" however it may have collapsed into my cervix and a scan can't rule out infection. They did note, however, that they could see lots of "bubbles" which was making it difficult for them to scan fully.
We were, yet again, advised to wait for the nurse but we were put into a private room with a bed and were told they were trying to find a doctor to see me.
We waited quite a while and finally a doctor came and I recounted the long story. She took my blood pressure and temperature and asked me for a urine sample and went away.
She came back eventually and said my urine showed markers of infection and they'd like to take a swab. They did this and again went away.
We waited again, put more money on the car and had a sandwich.
After a very long wait the doctor came back and advised that they would like me to have surgery asap as I had an infection and they were worried about how long my body was going to be able to fight it.
Obviously I'd just had a sandwich so it wasn't going to be possible to do it now.
My head was spinning. Husband in London, Child at Childminders, Parents have no car and can't drive mine!
Plus - I guess we're not going to the theatre anymore!
The doctor agreed that I could go home as long as I came back at 7pm. They also dosed me up with antibiotics. We got Edith from the childminders. My husband made his way back from London and arranged for his Grandmother to pick me up later to take me back to the hospital.
At 5pm the hospital called asking where I was - they had a theatre ready for me and I'm not there! I told them I was advised to come in at 7pm but they said that shouldn't have happened and I need to come in asap.
I managed to rally the Grandmother in Law and we got to the hospital a hour later around 6pm.
We then waited. My husband arrived around 7:30pm and we hadn't yet seen a doctor. And I hadn't eaten since the aforementioned sandwich.
Around 8pm a doctor arrived and said they weren't sure whether they'd putting me in for surgery tonight or first thing tomorrow (after pumping me full of IV antibiotics all night). Eventually they made a decision at 9:30pm and my husband bought me a very welcome panini and latte.
I spent a restless night in the ward. It's horrible enough staying in hospital but when you feel well it's almost worse. They took my obs every few hours and I had an IV in all night (until it fell out around 3am).
At 8ish I was asked if I wanted a drink (I said no as Nil by Mouth) and again I was asked if I wanted breakfast later. "No!".
My husband called me at 9:30 but I hadn't yet seen anyone to ask about when my surgery will be. This continued all morning. It was a Saturday and only emergency surgeries take place. Unfortunately there was a transplant happening and a crash on the motorway and I was happy to wait in line.
Still no food or drink allowed!
Do I want a mid morning snack. - No!
Do I want to order lunch - No!
Do I want lunch (are you still here?)? - No!
Visiting hours are from 2pm so my husband arrived then. By 3pm I had seen the surgeon and the anaesthetist. It finally all happened - and so quickly.
The surgeon explained the surgery and what would happen. He warned that wombs are very stretchy and therefore easy to "catch". Pregnant wombs are even stretchier and wombs with an infection even more stretchy. He explained there was a risk that he would need to remove my womb if there was a problem in order to save my life. Really scary stuff!
So I said my goodbyes to the hubs and walked upstairs to surgery. The nurse was lovely and full of small talk - which I know they do to keep your mind off things but it was just irritating me. Whilst I have had surgery before, Edith was born by Emergency C Section, I'd never had general anaesthetic and I was getting very apprehensive.
I got onto the bed in the theatre and still she was asking all about my family etc. She asked if I had any brothers and sisters I said "Yes, one brother". "Are you close?" she asked. "No" I wailed as the emotions and stress had finally caught up with me. I then laughed because I sounded so stupid.
I did the whole count backwards thing and the next I knew I was waking up with a mask on and a painful lower lip. It seems the intubation tube was pressed hard against my mouth and my teeth had cut in.
I felt fine but drowsy and, apart from the lip, in no pain.
I was wheeled down to the ward where hubs was waiting. It was so good to see him.
My dinner arrived soon after which I scoffed down and I was up and on my feet really quickly.
All the nurses and orderlies thus far had been telling me I'd be going home in a matter of hours but the surgeon had said he wanted me to stay another night as he was worried the infection may get worse before it gets better.
After dinner the nurse took my obs and said I could go home. So - that was it. I got dressed and packed ready for home and a long sleep in my own bed.
The surgeon came and saw me again before I left to reiterate that he thought I should stay but then agreed I could go home.
It was great to be home and I made it back in time before Edith went to bed. Even better!
I wasn't allowed to drive for two days and I was further signed off work for two more weeks but that was the end of it - finally!
I bled a small amount for a couple of days but things returned to normal pretty quickly.
I managed to finally have my interview for my job and I was pleased to find out I'd kept it! Finally I could get back to normal.
I'm writing this 4 months on and it's strange how the details are still clear in my mind.
Two of my NCT Mummy friends are pregnant, one being due around the same time I was and another due with twins early in the new year. I'm not sure how I'm going to cope with this to be honest. I was hoping I'd be pregnant again by Christmas but that has not transpired yet (maybe down to age, my body recovering or just bad luck).
I'm a glass half full person generally so this doesn't occupy my mind very much. I did have a pang the other day though when I remember the T shirt we'd bought Edith which says "Big Sister". She'll be too big for it by the time she gets a chance to wear it (if she indeed does).
I'm not writing this for sympathy. As I said before I find it cathartic and maybe this account will help to "end the silence".
#miscourage
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